see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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