yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
