hotel room ftw
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
