he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
We need to get me chipped asap
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
