she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
