Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
