i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize