Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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