Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
it was like his penis was on wheels.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
last night I used snow as a chaser
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