Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Acid is not a monday night drug
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
