I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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