Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
