Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize