i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
