His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
