Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
