So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
