Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
