you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize