Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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