you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
zippers are such a cool invention
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Randomize
