3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
this just has baby written all over it
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
