im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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