I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
He kissed a someone with a penis
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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