ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
