problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
She needs sedatives and a leash
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
