Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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