So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
