i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
