first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
You left your phone here
Wait...
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
