i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
