its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Randomize
