i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
