The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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