You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
