some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I just found a bag of teeth...
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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