singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
