i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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