...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
