I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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