Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Randomize
