my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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