R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
accomplished twins. life is a go
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Randomize
