RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
