its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
