I wanna bring you to show and tell
I can tuck mytits in my pants
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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