alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
