what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
