The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
We got so high we made milksteak
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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