If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
