I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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