We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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