i barfeds in our rink
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
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