i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
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