At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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