Swine flu. Run for my life!
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
